And It Should Be Done

I should be working on my MLA portfolio presentation, but for the moment I am done with the portfolio part. Seriously, the presentation part is 5-10 minutes, how hard could it be? I'm trying to figure out whether or not I have the nerve to talk about my Infertility project or if I want to discuss the Perinatal Hospice project. Both are valid options and possibly part of my theme (I'm going back and forth between a journey-type of idea or a better-version-of-myself-thanks-to-your-program type of thing). What I can't say is that the program did not meet my goals. They actually asked that question on my exit survey, but they were smart enough to slip the word academic in before goals completely changing the meaning and allowing me to respond in the affirmative. Because my real goal for this master's program was to get pregnant. Sleep with the professor, you ask? Nope. Amp up the love in the bedroom (somehow?)? Nope. It's really much more simple than either of those: I thought that by creating an very inconvenient schedule/life for a pregnancy/baby to appear in, that it would reverse jinx all of this infertility trouble. Okay, I didn't really think that at all, but I kind of hoped - isn't inconvenience the reason that the universe impregnates high schoolers and flirty college girls and crack whores? Wait, that's some sort of freaking biology? Better go over, in detail, how babies are made again. I think that I might have forgotten. And if you mention a petri dish, would you also include a price tag so that I know exactly how much said baby(ies) will cost before they are conceived?

Anyway, my only other concern (as outlined to AM yesterday) is what is next. If I didn't start this master's program in order to jinx the universe into getting me pregnant, then at least I'll admit to signing up for a welcome distraction (and the M.A. - I also want a Ph.D). When the distraction is gone, as of 6pm tonight, what will the new obsession be? This worries me. It didn't worry me until two or three years ago when I realized that I am always obsessed about something. I'm worried that my obsession will veer towards adoption, which we probably aren't ready for, or doula training, which I'm not sure my heart and mind are ready for. AM made two very decent suggestions that I plan on researching, but if they don't pan out, what am I left with? *Thanks for the awesome info about BB&BS, CB (girl C), I really appreciate it. I'll do some more research and sleep on it for awhile - I need to figure out if it's really for me.

Anyway, I'm jumping on LG's bandwagon (though not explicitly invited) and going to my picture file on the computer, fourth folder, fourth picture, and

This is funny to me. Angel Fire, New Mexico, in January 2008: vacation with my parents and sister. This is C and me (he's in a shirt my mom bought him and no, you can't see my underwear because I am wearing long underwear). From the clothing and expressions I can tell that this is the one day we went snowboarding and were absolutely exhausted. Look who is holding the tv remote. I tag her, her, her, and her. Remember, picture area, fourth folder, fourth picture - mostly just to amuse me.

*Okay, it is all over now. I gave my rambling presentation about how I was drawn to women's issues and did two spectacular projects: Infertility and Perinatal Hospice. Not great, not awful, and hopefully good enough to get me the piece of paper and letters behind my name.