On the infertility side of things, I found a lot to be thankful for in my time away from all of the craziness of treatments.
~We have some insurance coverage for infertility diagnosis and treatment. After a deductible, we still owe 50%, but that is a hell of a lot better than owing everything.
~I was able to find a new position within the same corporation that I could enjoy more than my current job, yet retain the benefits listed above.
~The new oral medication (tiny yellow pills) still cause me some hot flashes, headaches, and nausea, BUT they do not make me act psychotically, ravingly insane. According to C. And he is very grateful.
~After all of the arguments and drama that these last-minute IUIs caused the last time around, C has learned that they are inevitable and that his contribution must show up at the clinic on a very specific day and time. He’s making it work.
~In the midst of whatever is happening in our national economic climate, we are still affording infertility treatments. I don’t take that for granted when there are people losing their jobs, houses, and savings.
~We really like our RE, still. He is encouraging, driven, intelligent, slightly humorous, and incredibly skilled at ART, which is often more of an art than a science. Somehow, the way he communicates with both me and C is effective and appealing. I’m warming up to his nurses and office staff too.
~We were able to slide my surgery in before the end of the year (= good for insurance reasons) and that it went really well.
~As we [I] have let more people in on our journey and experiences, they have been really supportive and encouraging. I cherish all of the people who tell me that they are praying for us.
~I have found a peace, sort of. We’ve been trying to have a baby for three and a half years and through everything I’ve been filled with rage, hope, grief, love, longing, desperation, gratitude, depression, sympathy, faith, empathy, sadness, jealousy, and many other emotions. These last few months have brought a peace that allows me to function as a participant in my life. I still feel the disappointments that are a substantial part of this process, but I can put them behind me and enjoy everything else that life has to offer without the residual pain and resentment. For all of that, I am thankful.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Coming Back: Part II
Work has been crazy and amidst the transitions to a completely new scheduling system and me being tossed into another position (in a different office, department, and with different duties), I decided to schedule a laparoscopic surgery. Once the date for all of the work changes were pushed back, there was this one glorious time period during which no one else had any PTO because it had been previously blacked out. I was all over that and scheduled myself for surgery.
Here is the surgery report (from me - did you really want to read the official one?):
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Surgery was a Success
I went in for a diagnostic outpatient surgery yesterday. I wanted to let you all know that I am doing really well afterwards and how the surgery went. For those of you that are squeamish or don't care to read about my reproductive going ons, just know that surgery went really well, I am recovering surprisingly quickly, and that the doctor was able to find and fix some things that may or may not have been hindering us in conceiving. For those that enjoy the nitty gritty details, please keep reading.
I found it surprising that October 15th was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day (as declared by President Reagan in 1988). As most of you know, we lost our first pregnancy in February 2007 at 11 weeks, and since then have had a lot of difficulty in getting pregnant again. We currently see a wonderful Reproductive Endocrinologist, Dr. G, who has the task of helping us get pregnant. I wasn't thinking about the Remembrance Day until a family friend sent me an email. I saw it as fitting because none of us forget the pregnancies, babies, or children we lose. And this day came on the eve of a surgery intended to possibly help us get pregnant again.
I was nervous going into surgery because I've only ever had one other surgery and when I went into that surgery I was pregnant and when I came out, I was no longer pregnant, but was gifted with an unexpected raging infection. But, you see, Dr. G is a wonderful doctor: confident, proficient, conservative in practice, somewhat charming, and his goal is help us establish a successful pregnancy. Besides, he's done this surgery hundreds of times and I was and am sure that I am in incredibly capable hands with him. I was scheduled to have a diagnostic laparoscopy and hysteroscopy. I actually did not have to have the hysteroscopy (where they look into your uterus with a scope) done because Dr. G had performed a sonohysterogram in his office early last week. That procedure enabled him to inject saline solution into my uterus and the solution would highly define any scar tissue, cysts, fibroids, adhesions, or anything else out of place when he then used the sonogram wand to look into the uterus. As usual, my uterus looked fine (and believe you me - both the doctor and I have seen it on the sonogram screen enough times to know when it looks okay AND I've never had anything unusual in there anyway) and the doctor probably saved us some money by doing the different procedure in the office instead of the hysteroscopy while I was under anesthesia in surgery.
A diagnostic laparoscopy (and I'll provide a comprehensive link if that helps) is when the doctor makes two tiny incisions in the abdomen - one in the belly button and another right below the bikini line and is then able to insert a small scope (camera) to get a good look in there. He then fills the abdominal cavity with gas so that he can see exactly what is going on in there and so that he has room to work. For fertility purposes, the doctor is looking for endometriosis, scar tissue, cysts, fibroids, or again, anything else unusual that could be hindering my reproductive health. Almost anything he finds at this point can be fixed by cutting and cauterizing. I am then left with two tiny incisions that have to heal up. Easy peasey.
C was able to get the full explanation (with pictures!) of what the doctor found and treated and I got an abbreviated version as I was coming out from anesthesia. We really went into this surgery hoping that the doctor found something and that it was fixable, but we also knew there was a chance that he wouldn't find anything and that everything would look good - which would still leave our fertility issues unexplained. Fortunately, the doctor DID find some things and was able to treat them! First, there were about six small spots (they call them implants) of endometriosis on the top and outside of my uterus. Since the endometrial tissue is so blood laden, the doctor needed to slice the implants off and then cauterize the sights. He said these implants may or may not have contributed to our infertility, but mostly they were mild to moderate displays of endometriosis - and I was grateful they weren't any worse or in more concerning locations, such as on the fallopian tubes, bowel, or bladder. The second issue the doctor was able to fix was scar tissue (again, no idea why or how that forms) that linked my left ovary to my uterus and in the process, twisted the ovary away from the position needed to deposit a mature egg into the left fallopian tube. C said the scar tissue looked like a spiderweb (like the ones that Spiderman shoots) connecting the ovary and uterus. The doctor was able to cut out the scar tissue and cauterize the connecting sights on both the ovary and uterus. Now this issue has definitely had an impact on our fertility - the ovaries and fallopian tubes are not actually connected in the body, so transport of mature eggs is really more of a baseball game: the ovary pitches and the fallopian tube catches. In most women, there are never any issues with catching because the pitcher is dependable and all he has to do is throw the ball at the catcher and everything works wonderfully. We assume this is the case with my right ovary, but essentially, my left ovary (due to the twisting nature of the scar tissue) was pitching at first base, and in this game, there is no first baseman. See the problem?
Dr. G, C, and I were all very happy with the surgery: how quickly and easily it went, what the doctor was able to identify and fix, and my fabulous recovery. I have a post-op visit in a week or so and Dr. G said he was going to look over my chart again to come up with a new game plan. While we don't know whether or not the small amount of endometriosis had any affect on my fertility, a very real concern is that it can redevelop. Sometimes it is gone forever after surgery and sometimes it can build up again in as little as six months. The doctor did mention that we have a realistic window for an increased chance at pregnancy (with or possibly without treatments) of six to nine months, and then we may need to (non-invasively) check and see if anything (endometriosis or scar tissue) has returned. We'll find out more at that visit.
I am doing really well recovery-wise. Just getting around slowly and resting a lot. C is taking excellent care of me and he's always so attentive through these things. I should just keep getting better and sometime in a week or so we should have another game plan. Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers - we both really appreciate your encouragement and support.
So, I guess I picked option B. as noted in the previous post. At my post-op, which happened to be CD 3 for me (period one week post-laparoscopy = ouch!), the RE had a full-steam-ahead type of attitude. He said we are looking at a window of six-nine months of increased chance of pregnancy and that we need to utilize this time frame. I, stupidly, had no idea that I had fast-tracked us when I scheduled surgery. Anyway, sure enough, I took a blood test and was able to pick up my very own prescription of the tiny yellow pills (option A.) later that day to get medicated for our next IUI. The plan is to hit it hard while the going is good - or something like that.
First post-surgery IUI was a bust and we are gearing up for the second one (and hope to squeeze the third one in before the new year). I am responding much less erratically to this medication and C says that I am not demonstrating the same hormonal shifts as I was with the little white pills (v good). We are still very pleased with our RE and his confidence, prudence, and forthright attitude. He really thinks he can get us pregnant, which is good, because after this is all over, we are done. I'm in this for a handful of IUIs with oral medication and a few more with injectibles, knowing that at the end of six to nine months (five to eight) I and we are done. At the moment, there is no IVF in our future. All we have is a solid attempt and then conclusion.
Which makes this part two of the same story. Welcome back.
Here is the surgery report (from me - did you really want to read the official one?):
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Surgery was a Success
I went in for a diagnostic outpatient surgery yesterday. I wanted to let you all know that I am doing really well afterwards and how the surgery went. For those of you that are squeamish or don't care to read about my reproductive going ons, just know that surgery went really well, I am recovering surprisingly quickly, and that the doctor was able to find and fix some things that may or may not have been hindering us in conceiving. For those that enjoy the nitty gritty details, please keep reading.
I found it surprising that October 15th was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day (as declared by President Reagan in 1988). As most of you know, we lost our first pregnancy in February 2007 at 11 weeks, and since then have had a lot of difficulty in getting pregnant again. We currently see a wonderful Reproductive Endocrinologist, Dr. G, who has the task of helping us get pregnant. I wasn't thinking about the Remembrance Day until a family friend sent me an email. I saw it as fitting because none of us forget the pregnancies, babies, or children we lose. And this day came on the eve of a surgery intended to possibly help us get pregnant again.
I was nervous going into surgery because I've only ever had one other surgery and when I went into that surgery I was pregnant and when I came out, I was no longer pregnant, but was gifted with an unexpected raging infection. But, you see, Dr. G is a wonderful doctor: confident, proficient, conservative in practice, somewhat charming, and his goal is help us establish a successful pregnancy. Besides, he's done this surgery hundreds of times and I was and am sure that I am in incredibly capable hands with him. I was scheduled to have a diagnostic laparoscopy and hysteroscopy. I actually did not have to have the hysteroscopy (where they look into your uterus with a scope) done because Dr. G had performed a sonohysterogram in his office early last week. That procedure enabled him to inject saline solution into my uterus and the solution would highly define any scar tissue, cysts, fibroids, adhesions, or anything else out of place when he then used the sonogram wand to look into the uterus. As usual, my uterus looked fine (and believe you me - both the doctor and I have seen it on the sonogram screen enough times to know when it looks okay AND I've never had anything unusual in there anyway) and the doctor probably saved us some money by doing the different procedure in the office instead of the hysteroscopy while I was under anesthesia in surgery.
A diagnostic laparoscopy (and I'll provide a comprehensive link if that helps) is when the doctor makes two tiny incisions in the abdomen - one in the belly button and another right below the bikini line and is then able to insert a small scope (camera) to get a good look in there. He then fills the abdominal cavity with gas so that he can see exactly what is going on in there and so that he has room to work. For fertility purposes, the doctor is looking for endometriosis, scar tissue, cysts, fibroids, or again, anything else unusual that could be hindering my reproductive health. Almost anything he finds at this point can be fixed by cutting and cauterizing. I am then left with two tiny incisions that have to heal up. Easy peasey.
C was able to get the full explanation (with pictures!) of what the doctor found and treated and I got an abbreviated version as I was coming out from anesthesia. We really went into this surgery hoping that the doctor found something and that it was fixable, but we also knew there was a chance that he wouldn't find anything and that everything would look good - which would still leave our fertility issues unexplained. Fortunately, the doctor DID find some things and was able to treat them! First, there were about six small spots (they call them implants) of endometriosis on the top and outside of my uterus. Since the endometrial tissue is so blood laden, the doctor needed to slice the implants off and then cauterize the sights. He said these implants may or may not have contributed to our infertility, but mostly they were mild to moderate displays of endometriosis - and I was grateful they weren't any worse or in more concerning locations, such as on the fallopian tubes, bowel, or bladder. The second issue the doctor was able to fix was scar tissue (again, no idea why or how that forms) that linked my left ovary to my uterus and in the process, twisted the ovary away from the position needed to deposit a mature egg into the left fallopian tube. C said the scar tissue looked like a spiderweb (like the ones that Spiderman shoots) connecting the ovary and uterus. The doctor was able to cut out the scar tissue and cauterize the connecting sights on both the ovary and uterus. Now this issue has definitely had an impact on our fertility - the ovaries and fallopian tubes are not actually connected in the body, so transport of mature eggs is really more of a baseball game: the ovary pitches and the fallopian tube catches. In most women, there are never any issues with catching because the pitcher is dependable and all he has to do is throw the ball at the catcher and everything works wonderfully. We assume this is the case with my right ovary, but essentially, my left ovary (due to the twisting nature of the scar tissue) was pitching at first base, and in this game, there is no first baseman. See the problem?
Dr. G, C, and I were all very happy with the surgery: how quickly and easily it went, what the doctor was able to identify and fix, and my fabulous recovery. I have a post-op visit in a week or so and Dr. G said he was going to look over my chart again to come up with a new game plan. While we don't know whether or not the small amount of endometriosis had any affect on my fertility, a very real concern is that it can redevelop. Sometimes it is gone forever after surgery and sometimes it can build up again in as little as six months. The doctor did mention that we have a realistic window for an increased chance at pregnancy (with or possibly without treatments) of six to nine months, and then we may need to (non-invasively) check and see if anything (endometriosis or scar tissue) has returned. We'll find out more at that visit.
I am doing really well recovery-wise. Just getting around slowly and resting a lot. C is taking excellent care of me and he's always so attentive through these things. I should just keep getting better and sometime in a week or so we should have another game plan. Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers - we both really appreciate your encouragement and support.
So, I guess I picked option B. as noted in the previous post. At my post-op, which happened to be CD 3 for me (period one week post-laparoscopy = ouch!), the RE had a full-steam-ahead type of attitude. He said we are looking at a window of six-nine months of increased chance of pregnancy and that we need to utilize this time frame. I, stupidly, had no idea that I had fast-tracked us when I scheduled surgery. Anyway, sure enough, I took a blood test and was able to pick up my very own prescription of the tiny yellow pills (option A.) later that day to get medicated for our next IUI. The plan is to hit it hard while the going is good - or something like that.
First post-surgery IUI was a bust and we are gearing up for the second one (and hope to squeeze the third one in before the new year). I am responding much less erratically to this medication and C says that I am not demonstrating the same hormonal shifts as I was with the little white pills (v good). We are still very pleased with our RE and his confidence, prudence, and forthright attitude. He really thinks he can get us pregnant, which is good, because after this is all over, we are done. I'm in this for a handful of IUIs with oral medication and a few more with injectibles, knowing that at the end of six to nine months (five to eight) I and we are done. At the moment, there is no IVF in our future. All we have is a solid attempt and then conclusion.
Which makes this part two of the same story. Welcome back.
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