New Plan: Continuation

In case no one noticed, yes, this has been the magicwhitepill-cycle-from-hell. And it is finally over, late, and with two lily white pregnancy tests. If I had called any earlier cycles hellish, I might have been kidding because I am not kidding now. With the second test came an insomniatic quiet panic calm. I’m still not sure how you can panic and remain calm at the same time, but it does involve waking up every twenty minutes from 315a to 620a with bleary eyes and possible tears. By the time I was up for the day, I was fine (relatively speaking) and back to the original game plan for the meet and greet with the new obgyn Monday evening.


The talk went well. I waited on the doc for an hour, but I know that is rather typical and she had an entire bookcase full of childbirth books. When her midwife came to get me, she saw the book in my hands (that I had checked out, since I was allowed to) and said that she loved books and she was so glad that someone was reading that one (The American Way of Birth by ). I kind of gave the doc and the midwife my little spiel about infertility and my ideas on childbirth, obstetrics, and education. She told me immediately that she would refer me on to the RE, that she was sending her infertility patients that way, and he was a very good doctor and had been sending them back. I was relieved to hear this: a direct plan. I found that her ideas on childbirth are very much in line with my own and that she believes in education and encourages it. She practices more holistically (treating the whole person versus just the symptoms) and naturally than her counterparts. She or the midwife also deliver all of their own patients, they don’t induce unless it is medically necessary, and they have the lowest c-section rate. I enjoyed the doctor, but I really loved the midwife – I would be okay to see her throughout a pregnancy. I really respected that they heard my history and admitted that they would send me to the RE. My current obgyn has been dragging her feet about all of this infertility stuff. So she is fired.

Which means that I have my first consult with the RE mid-September. I hear he’s good and I am encouraged that it is his job to get us pregnant. He also must be a busy man with a 24-hour cancellation policy and a $150 cancellation fee. Wow. But that’s okay, I don’t plan on cancelling. I plan on somehow, someway, getting completely knocked up. C is so frustrated with the entire process. He’s glad the new obgyn said what she said and that it got me to set an appointment up with the RE. But he’s so very tired of this, as am I. It is exhausting being this stressed out so much of the time. The mood swings, hot flashes, and false symptoms are also getting really old. We’ll get through it and emerge better people on the other side. I hope.


No magic pills for the next cycle for a few reasons: they work, but aren’t working, we’d rather wait on the RE’s game plan, and I have no desire to remain in contact with my previous doctor’s office. Except to obtain medical records for doctors that are actually helping us. You know the ones that care? For someone who doesn’t like pills, hospitals, or doctors much, it is surprising how many I’ve accrued in the two years we have been here. Five doctors, actually.

Overall, this is good news. All of it. No looking back, only looking forward. Christmas is around the corner, right? And I love Christmas.