Crystal Ball

I just wrote AM about crystal ball syndrome. I've never had it before. I remember knowing that eventually high school would end, then college, and C and I would get around to walking down the aisle. Lots of waiting and probably with very little patience, but it was okay. I didn't want a glimpse into the crystal ball to see us somewhere down the road; I had faith that we'd get there soon enough. That theory has held up well. I've said it before: we have a nice little life. We work and come home to the house we bought, drive ideal vehicles, love our dogs, sit on the porch occasionally. What's changed, right?

I want a three second glimpse into the crystal ball now. I know firsthand that people and beings can be snatched away too fast. I want a blurry picture of me, the man I love, the dogs, and children. At this point, I don't care if there is one or four and if they look like me or they're a completely different color. Someone to raise and love and tuck in at night and that calls me mama. That's all. It's a lot to ask. Maybe I've just lost a little faith, but it's findable, I'm sure. Got to keep looking, keep trying, and keep hoping.