I wrote M a note today. I was thinking that most things you can get over, but this is not one of them. This grief is rooted down deep in my soul and will always be a part of me. The concept begs the question of whatever will grow out of such an achy, grief saturated place. I hope that it is something wonderful and inviting; full of many colors or even bright colors and a scent that memories grow upon. A mulberry tree maybe. Berries that you can eat and beautiful flowers. Or lavender irises. I've always liked those. Anything strong and hearty. I'm not sure if anything like that grows, but somewhere that is grief-filled has moisture from the tears and shade from the shadows, so living things are welcome.
I went to an awful website today. I'm sure it is inspiring for some, but for me and those with similar circumstances, it was so awful. I was going to tell all about it and now I'm not because I am trying not to think about it. Trust me, it was bad. However, the sun is out and it was 65 degrees at 2:30PM, so I think we're going for a walk tonight. Or a jog. There is a "deal" we came up with that I'll explain tomorrow.
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