Every once in a while something happens just to remind me. Or maybe Tuesdays are heinous inventions of a dark underlord out to steal happiness from living souls. His name could be Kar-Koffen-Steinen-Acrue. It sounds vaguely diabolical. Today isn't that bad, it just started out badly. C needs to be nicer and try harder to understand things. Good luck, I know. Especially with Internet and extended cable being installed today. I'm never going to see him again. Unless I pull the plug, which I will do and won't feel bad about. How soon before I spring that threat on him? I have to wait until he breaks a rule that he knows nothing about and then threaten him with the complete disappearance of anything technology-related. If he doesn't start to comply with the rule he knows nothing about, I will punish him. That all sounds very loving and good-wife to me. You know, like we have an open, honest relationship full of compromise and communication.
The nice little sayings don't fill the void left behind. I am thankful that we are young and we can try again, but holding everything in some sort of hiatus until it does happen again doesn't work. It really doesn't work. Constant television programs about stolen babies, teen pregnancies, rapes, and violence against women don't help. Watching a show about a dumb teenager who can't figure out how to use a condom, gets pregnant and aborts the baby isn't really great for me right now. Reading books about hidden children, pregnancies, abortions - not so great either. I can't even finish these thoughts. I've been reading Reviving Ophelia and Ophelia Speaks recently and the atrocities that every woman has to bear just by living in the same world men inhabit sickens me. This is why I will teach my daughter(s) to defend themselves with any means necessary. Because they really don't know who is a friend and who is out to get them. Date rape, molestation, incest - are all perpetrated by men that girls know and trust enough to be around. I'm rambling and done.
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