Almost 29 Weeks = Third Trimester

Holy cow, we're at 28 weeks. Viable. Precious. Third trimester. Very much alive and active. Holy cow. Seriously now.

Some might ask what I expected to happen when we took the steps we did in August/September. Well, honestly, as I've written before, I expected more hardship. I wasn't sure or unsure if IVF would work. I had no clue. I was viscerally SURPRISED when the nurse called and told me I was pregnant. Do you guys know about that type of disbelief? It is surreal. It was the beginning of thoughts of what if . . . that finally finally fell into the positive category. What if we make it to twelve weeks? What if I'm still pregnant by Christmas? What if I actually get to tell people? What if I get big? What if I get to feel a baby inside of me? What if people actually notice that I'm pregnant? What if we have a baby in June/July? What if we get a child, a baby, that is a combination of C and me to cherish and raise? What if? No, I didn't let myself go to those places before. I didn't even figure out a theoretical "due date" when we knew the timing of the retrieval and transfer.

But I'm here in this place where it is becoming more real each day. I've been told I am healthy, that I have a healthy baby growing inside of me. S/He is putting on loads of baby fat in the next three months and I couldn't be more thrilled. S/He is constantly flipping, rolling, and practicing breathing (I hear that's what the hiccups are). S/He is already the most wonderful thing in my world and I can't wait to meet her/him and introduce her/him to the grandparents, aunt, and uncles. This is all just something I didn't expect because I couldn't be sure that we would end up in this position. Which is a roundabout way of saying that I haven't forgotten the infertility, the years of wondering, grieving, and battling hope. I don't want to. I plan on enjoying every second of this awesome time, but I will always remember the baby that came before this one and what it took to come to this place.

As for the rest of the update? I feel HUGE, but keep getting told that I'm not and that I'm super cute. I find it a little painful when this creature inside rolls, flips and kicks. The belly feels quite heavy, I'm sure to only get heavier (I am aiming for a week "past due" and over eight pounds). My sciatic is bothering me, my back is bothering me, I can't sleep and sometimes I can't breathe, but it's all totally worth it. So very strange to be noticeably pregnant so that random people comment on it. It's probably a combination of me getting bigger and wearing summery, tighter clothing. I registered the weekend past - for baby things, a soccer ball and a Kitchen Aid mixer (no, I'm not kidding - baby will eventually need cinnamon rolls like me and Grandpa and for that, I need a dough hook). It was overwhelming and scary, but Mom helped and I'm glad we got it done. I'm clueless about baby things and baby care, so I gathered A LOT of advice from mommy friends - it's absolutely invaluable. Most think I'm having a boy by the way that I'm carrying this baby, which might work to our advantage as we're having a much easier time with boy names than girl names. I'm so excited to meet this little dude(tte) - we'll have a name after that meeting, I think. I'm keeping appointments with my midwives, interviewing some doulas, going to see a prenatal chiropractor and a naturopath soon. Lining up photography (I think I'll really appreciate it later - no matter what happens). Childbirth classes are later this month, water-birth class and breastfeeding as well. Still trying to decide about diapers - all somewhat mundane, but so important and exciting to me right now.

Sometimes I sit back and think about the big picture. We'll have an infant over Thanksgiving. For Christmas. Next Easter. Maybe by the 4th of July. This is crazy. There is every probable chance that I'm going to be a mom. Wow.