Thankful For This For Now

On the infertility side of things, I found a lot to be thankful for in my time away from all of the craziness of treatments.
~We have some insurance coverage for infertility diagnosis and treatment. After a deductible, we still owe 50%, but that is a hell of a lot better than owing everything.
~I was able to find a new position within the same corporation that I could enjoy more than my current job, yet retain the benefits listed above.
~The new oral medication (tiny yellow pills) still cause me some hot flashes, headaches, and nausea, BUT they do not make me act psychotically, ravingly insane. According to C. And he is very grateful.
~After all of the arguments and drama that these last-minute IUIs caused the last time around, C has learned that they are inevitable and that his contribution must show up at the clinic on a very specific day and time. He’s making it work.
~In the midst of whatever is happening in our national economic climate, we are still affording infertility treatments. I don’t take that for granted when there are people losing their jobs, houses, and savings.
~We really like our RE, still. He is encouraging, driven, intelligent, slightly humorous, and incredibly skilled at ART, which is often more of an art than a science. Somehow, the way he communicates with both me and C is effective and appealing. I’m warming up to his nurses and office staff too.
~We were able to slide my surgery in before the end of the year (= good for insurance reasons) and that it went really well.
~As we [I] have let more people in on our journey and experiences, they have been really supportive and encouraging. I cherish all of the people who tell me that they are praying for us.
~I have found a peace, sort of. We’ve been trying to have a baby for three and a half years and through everything I’ve been filled with rage, hope, grief, love, longing, desperation, gratitude, depression, sympathy, faith, empathy, sadness, jealousy, and many other emotions. These last few months have brought a peace that allows me to function as a participant in my life. I still feel the disappointments that are a substantial part of this process, but I can put them behind me and enjoy everything else that life has to offer without the residual pain and resentment. For all of that, I am thankful.