Retracting Bitterness

Please forgive my pettiness. I can explain why I react the way I do, but it does not excuse me writing hurtful things after perceived hurts. Does that make any sense? I did not mean to hurt any one's feelings or drag anyone out on display for blatant insensitivity. What happens, is that somehow I collect these things people say. They may not realize they have said anything hurtful, but somewhere within me it registers. And when it gets to be too much, I feel the need to expel it and well, the result is the post below. Here is the thing though, 90% of the people who have ever said any of these things are actually trying to help in a strange way. They are trying to make my difficulty having children relatable, or even fixable. Some love me so much that they try and understand the steps we are taking and how we feel about them. So, I am sort of back-pedalling and sort of calling out take-backs and kind of justifying what I wrote all at the same time.

For those of you that love me so much that you are afraid of hurting me: thank you for caring so much. No, you don't have to be so careful because I know your heart and that your intentions are pure. If and when you have ever said something hurtful, I have felt hurt, let it go, and reminded myself that I should be extra careful not to say something insensitive to you. Which I do all the time and I am so very sorry. My mouth can run away and it is something that I am working on. For those of you like this, I cherish your encouragement and the hope you hold for me so very much. I appreciate you. I am so sorry if I left you feeling attacked. So I couldn't just leave it at that. Because I love you too.