I took a job that keeps me busy and allows no real access to the internet. This change we can mark as healthy. The only time I have for you now is squeezed between working overtime, quality time with the husband, talk time with the too far away friends, doctor's appointments, and class. There isn't a lot left for a colorful blog. Which I'm kind of happy about. My intentions in creating this blog were wonderful: to share the joys of pregnancy and then motherhood with my friends a family. That, unfortunately, did not happen. Which twisted what this blog is about all around into what it feels like from the depth of my being to miscarry and then have trouble getting pregnant again. I gravitated towards blogs similar to mine and sometimes much worse in term of what those bloggers had been through. All the while, I thought that they were helping me. And while they were a bolster, supporting me, reading things like that have not allowed me to move on. I've come to the point where I desperately need to move on. So while this blog will continue to have infrequent posts straight from my thoughts and feelings, I'm hoping that anyone who still reads it will see a change and that I will see a change when I read back. Feeding myself with words and thoughts that play to my obsessiveness in this area is something of the past, I hope. That said, on with the circus.
The new job is going as well as can be expected. I'm slowly figuring out the expectations, duties, and personalities of those around me. A lot of the PT/OTs are close to my age and circumstance: young, newlyish married, either babies or trying. I'm trying to forge some friendships there, but it's already so nice to work with people that seem to care and have the smallest bit in common with me. Typical duties are as always: answering phones, scheduling/cancelling appointments, double checking insurance and information. We also track everything we do in spreadsheets, which feeds my slight obsession with lists, so I am completely on board with that task. The powers that be recently added on to our job description, so at the end of the day we collect all the linens and wipe down the treatment rooms and equipment. This seems a little housekeeping-esque, but it gives me a bit more satisfaction and lets me get away from my desk and stretch around for about 45 minutes. I'm thinking that I will work out a system and enjoy it. Probably because of that, we aren't required to wear really nice clothes or shoes, so I am at home with the dress code. Relaxed business casual is a good description. I haven't messed anything up yet, so onto the next week.
C finally is showing signs of improving from his monster cold. We had virtually no communication from Wednesday of last week to Thursday of this week between schedules, appointments, and his general unconsciousness due to the cold bug. He's been running fevers, coughing, congested head, and sore throats for about a week. Dr couldn't even do much for him on account of whatever it was being a virus. NyQuil and DayQuil to the rescue. This morning he left me bright and early to go with his boss to a town three hours away to look at a Firebird. I think he's feeling better, but I wish he'd get his voice back.
I did have a dr's appointment on Wednesday. I wanted to hear the dr tell me what she thought, my test results, and what we could do. She did, and I've been thinking about it ever since (but conveniently not obsessing about it because I don't have the time to). Finally had a chance to discuss it with C on Friday and he's all for trying it a few times. I'm concerned about the cost, side effects, and where this leaves us if this course of treatment doesn't work. What has me seriously calmed down are two very encouraging, supportive conversations I had with AM and miss A on Wednesday. Both assured me that this wasn't the end of the world and it could only help things and not hurt our chances. Can't really thank them enough, but THANK YOU!
Something I forgot, I'm sure, but no idea what that is, so until next time (or whenever I figure out how to post from my new PDA)!
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