I Need a Plan. One I can Conceptualize. Get it?

I'm scared about my doctor's appointment today. Specifically, that she won't take me seriously. I need her to take me and all of my issues seriously. I'm assuming she will because she invited me back in six months (I'm one month early, but armed with data), but I am scared that she won't. So I need to sit here and breathe.

If one stressful thing today wasn't enough, I'm going to try and get my tags and taxes done right before the appointment. I'll probably be shaking by the time I get to the medical center (REMINDER: eat!). I'm not asking the doctor for drastic measures, I'm asking her to look at all of the data I charted, to listen to me talk, and to figure something out. I want a plan. Whether that is testing or try a few more months and come back for testing. I want a plan that I can dedicate myself to and one that will reassure me that if plan A doesn't work, there is a plan B, and perhaps even a plan C. As AM said (a voice outside of my head is ever so useful), I've done all I can with the information I have and now, I need a plan. If this doctor won't give me a plan, I'll find a new doctor.

What worries me more is that I had a wonderful dream last night where we met with the doctor and she was very understanding and gave us a definite plan to follow that encompassed a lot of the what ifs. I don't remember the interaction exactly, but I remember that we went to the mall afterward and both of us were happy and very comfortable with whatever had been decided at the appointment. So, worse case scenario, none of that will happen. I might talk to the doctor about anxiety too - I can see it in my words even.

Gauged Out Update: I pushed 8s into my ears last night and it stung a little, but no real pain. A little sensitive to sleep on, but today the ears are doing great. I think that around 6s or 4s, C will start talking about me not gauging them much further (will I listen?) because I'll begin to not look like the person he sees. He might surprise me and decide that he really likes them; especially when I get the mother of pearl earrings. Better pick up some 6s for Christmastime with as slow as I gauge.