Babies & Montana

I had the chance to talk to C last night when he got home. He was in a chipper mood despite being tired from the long hours. We talked about work, money and the future. It was really nice to touch base on some things. We're forever trying to figure out how to knock our debt down. Unfortunately, it was more manageable before I had an emergency D&C in February - you see how that one thing impacted absolutely everything else? He said something really nice: that he wanted to get pregnant. Which might be more of a window into our lives than you're looking for. I'm glad he said that because it assures me that we have a common goal and that whatever happens this time around we're in it together. Most girls need the words and I always think they're nice to hear. I do think it's interesting that he said get pregnant versus have a baby. That's what he means, but his assumption is that the next time we get pregnant that we will end up with a live baby. Statistically speaking, he would be right. For now, I think that I will carry the worry of whether or not we'll have another miscarriage. That one's mine. Since everything, I have said that I want a baby though, and that is exactly what I mean.

The previous post is to S, whom I already miss. He's leaving tomorrow for another state because he was offered the job he's perfect for. He's my rock in a way - always there for me to talk to, rage at, or cry to. This time it's a permanent job and he's staying there, as opposed to all of the other times when I knew he'd be home when the season was over. Since all of this happened so quickly, I don't get to see him to say goodbye. If there's anything I know by now, though, it's that he'll be there for me as much as he can no matter where he's at - and I hope he knows that I'll do the same.

The weekend is coming up fast and I'll welcome her with open arms.