Weightless

This weekend may have changed everything. Very dramatic, I know, but for those of you that know me, I pretend to be low-key and then I jump off of something tall, spread my arms open wide, and proclaim unto the world . . . any darn thing I want to. It's how my life best operates. Regardless, it was a weekend not to be soon repeated. N&A had parties, the boys drank way too much, and everyone had a grand time. Bigger than that, I think that I might have regained a friend. I don't want to be presumptuous, so I think that things are finally okay between us.

I don't put so much stock in signs or messages that mean more than the obvious, but my friend J had some very specific, important words for me on Friday about friendship and I think that they broke down the very last obstacle or argument I might have had in giving up the grudge. Thankfully, both AM and R are more mature than I am and less likely to hold grudges. They apparently were in forgiving moods and I was the lucky recipient. I am the first to say that I know AM and I won't be the same friends we were, but frankly, I'm just so excited that there is an opportunity there and that I didn't ruin things so that C couldn't hang out with his best friend R and their wives (+ baby, hers). I missed my friend and her knowledge and I know that C and R missed the comfortable friendship that the four (now five!) of us had. I feel awful that my stubbornness is what prevented any reconciliation earlier, but we were blessed with the wonderful opportunity Sunday to have a moment.

I don't know if you can tell through my words, but I'm bouncing off the walls, despite being beyond exhausted. I'm having trouble focusing on the keyboard enough to type, but lucky you, I'll run it through spell check when I'm done. A huge weight of all these bad feelings has been lifted off of me. I am grateful. And apparently hormonal because I'm tearing up every couple of minutes. I do not understand the bodies that God gave us to live in . . .

Huge thank you to J, for the right words at the right time, to R, for treating me like your friend, to AM, for forgiving me, being the more mature one, and for letting me hold little E.