Trix are for Kids.

This has been a day of ups and downs.

I, again, was so excited to start this next cycle. It means that I get to take the little white pills, put some green pills in a great place (why do they have to be green?), and get wanded in the same great place in a week and a half. Which all means that we get to do IUI#3. And I am really excited. Interestingly, not because I think it will actually work, but just because there is a plan and we are doing something and it could work. It's possible. Anyway, I've got all my medications and I scheduled the follicle scan (on a Sunday - gotta love them for that). I think I am also so excited because of the way that IUI#2 crashed and burned. Yes, it was our decision to cancel that one, but still, the crash was spectacular. This one is being conducted in a manner that wraps all the loose ends up in a nice, tidy bundle. I like tidy. I like seeing how many follicles I have. And if I could microscopically count C's swimmers, I'd probably spend a morning doing that too. I'm not obsessive, I just like the numbers, the precision, and the ability to compare and control each and every little thing in order to determine something new. Just kidding! Mostly.

The day probably changed a little bit when I read a heartfelt post by H. I get it. Not all of it, not your story precisely, but parts of it I get. I understand what it is like to see friends with babies who are the age that yours would have been. I understand how hard it is to fathom another pregnancy not going the same way as the first one did. And for AM, I understand a little better how hard it is to watch/listen/read someone who hurts so very badly. H, my heart goes out to you.

And here we are, on another avenue of the journey, looking both back and forward, and trying not to lose our balance. Coordination and patience, perhaps a long flexible catheter, and you'll get a pregnancy, just maybe. You thought it took sex, right? Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.