Would it Have Mattered?

I made dinner last night. It didn't taste very good. The rice was undercooked and the vegetables were a little too spicy. We still ate it and I burnt my tongue. I didn't enjoy The Catcher in the Rye. We read that for class this week and four hours of discussion tonight are not what I'm looking forward to; instead, I'd like to go to bed and increase my sleep quality which has been seriously sub par lately.

I just remembered something today as I was reading about 5 and 6 week ultrasounds to detect viable pregnancies. I went back to the obgyn clinic where I used to work for my blood test in January. I had decided to give the pregnancy time to fester and grow a bit so that I was sure that I'd get a positive result at 6 weeks. I went into the clinic and said my hellos to everyone in the back hallway. I ran into our sonographer and we exchanged the hellos, hows it goings, and when I told her I was there for a pregnancy test, she asked if I wanted a sonogram. For those of you that don't know, at 5 and 6 weeks, you don't get an over the belly sonogram, you get what is lovingly referred to as the dildocam put in a place, ah, a little closer to the uterus and contents. I said no, didn't want to interrupt her schedule, be a bother, see anything without C there. She offered again. What if I would have? Would we have seen anything, or would it be an obvious nonviable pregnancy? Since I've left, I have often wondered what she says to the couples who are in that position. What would she have said to me? I didn't remember her offer until just now and I have no idea if it would have made a difference.

I've been back twice since then, the first time with C for my NOB appointment at 9 or 10 weeks and then again for a post-op after the miscarriage. Ironically, that last appointment was already scheduled as my first appointment to see the dr and listen to the heartbeat, but when I called, I know they just changed the reason in the computer from NOB (new obstetric) to POP (post-op). What I find strange, is that after working in the clinic for a year and a half, walking up and down the main hall, all I can remember is standing at the back counter talking to people on the day I came in for lab work and the NOB appointment. They mesh together and create one scene and that's all there is from a year's worth of memories of being there.

Now I'm going to stop thinking about it and go deal with the insurance company. It was a bump, surely they can figure that out. That's why I pay far too much for insurance - for THEM to take care of these things. So they better.